Twin Flames and Soul Mates
“And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you<.’ – Kiersten White, The Chaos of the Stars
Almost everyone desires to find that ‘once in a lifetime’ epic love story where they fall for someone that goes beyond their wildest dreams of what they thought a relationship could be. Upon the first encounter, they proclaim, “I found you!” and “You are the one I’ve been looking for!” traveling long distances to meet or to have a run-through-the-airport-to-passionately-kiss-moment.
On some level, we all want unconditional love that profoundly satisfies our needs and desires. Yearning for one true love has sparked creative inspiration in poets, artists, and musicians for centuries. Many of the best love stories involve this dynamic of the endless quest for ‘the one’ and pining for the ‘perfect mirror’ or ‘other half’ to feel whole and complete.
Twin Flame and Soul Mate are often used to describe an otherworldly love written about and portrayed in great detail. What does that mean if you are in a relationship but aren’t feeling that ‘Notebook’ moment? These are the questions that many ask, but few can answer. So before you go madly frolicking in open fields, flailing in the rain, clothes soaking wet, calling out to your other half across the cosmos, consider this.
There is no definitive expert on twin flames and soul mates, despite what many self-help books, self-proclaimed YouTube gurus, and numerous online courses would have you believe. There is no consensus as to what these terms even mean. Surveying websites and ‘experts’ in the field find a wide range of largely conflicting information.
Discussions of soul mate and twin flame relationships inevitably surface yearly around Valentine’s Day. It is fun to imagine or live out some larger-than-life heart connection. However, this thinking can foster the energies of self-criticism, self-judgment, comparison, competition, and insecurity around why a current relationship may not tick all the ‘highly-evolved’ spiritual relationship boxes.
Love Theory
According to the Greek Philosopher Plato ( 428/427 BCE to 348/347 BCE), there were seven types of love. Eros, or erotic love; Philia, the love of friendship or goodwill; Storge, the love between parents and children; Agape, a universal love; Ludus, playful and non-committed love; Pragma, the love found in duty and reason; and Philautia, self-love, which can be both healthy and unhealthy. These loves were not exclusive and could exist in combination with one another.
Self-love as a Pathway to Loving Relationships
Just as the saying “you can love another only as deeply as you love yourself,” learning how you love and create healthy relationships begins with looking within. You may learn about how you care for yourself or how your spirit wants to be seen, held, and validated. In learning about what nourishes you and giving it back to yourself, you create space and fresh waves of energy that may allow the love you truly desire.
Twin Flames
A twin flame is like the “other half” as it is a split soul. They mirror one another and, at times, opposites. Twin flames may share thoughts and communicate psychically or in the dream space. These unions are viewed as relatively rare. They may remember these relationships from previous lifetimes. These relationships will often progress over multiple lifetimes.
Twin flames are on their journey of self-awareness and development, which does not necessarily mean they will meet and form a relationship. Instead, they are present as the energy that leads to the growth and evolution of the spirit.
A twin flame may not necessarily incarnate simultaneously as their other half. Twin flame unions are present on earth to do deep spiritual work and raise the collective consciousness. not limited by male/female binary constructs or modern conventions of commitment and monogamy. It can take many forms.
When someone meets a twin flame, it is said to be an instant and unstoppable force. Twin flames are compelled to love one another no matter the obstacle and will often attempt to seek the other half to be in a romantic relationship. There is some criticism surrounding the term, as it implies that individuals are not whole or complete without the activation of another person. Healing and growing in this relationship can profoundly affect the world.
Usually, there is only one twin flame relationship in a soul’s trajectory. It is considered rare, and not everyone finds it in a lifetime. It is worthwhile to consider the vibration of a twin flame union as something that may be cultivated within the self, regardless of whether it shows up in the form of another person.
Twin Flame Relationships
- Feels fated or destined
- Intense past life connections
- Cannot help but feel a deep love for the other, regardless of personal circumstances and relationship status
- Although it does not have to be romantic, there are deep feelings on many levels
- Magnetic pull to be in a romantic relationship, even if it seems like an unusual or unlikely match
- They can be volatile and mirror areas that need attention and healing in one another
- Feels the other even if they choose to stay apart
- Psychic connection and telepathic communication
- Desire to work together as a team to create- inspired creativity
- A deep and unwavering bond
- Challenges each individual to grow on a personal level
- May trigger the shadow of the ego-self
- A robust spiritual component as both partners will often be on a spiritual path
- This may lead to kundalini awakening and initiate and ascension into higher realms
- May be at different soul ages
- Is preparation for your soul’s ascension to another level
- These unions help humanity to evolve spiritually
Soul Mates
A soul mate is someone who fills the soul. They meet to activate personal changes in one another and elevate spiritually. They may remember this person’s spirit from past lives and feel an intense bond that is not easily explained in the present. They may have a psychic connection that allows knowing what the other person is going through. They may share thoughts and show up in the dream space. They accept the other person, including their flaws. They seem to “get” one another.
Soul mates are not always romantic partners. They can be a friend, relative, older or younger, male, female, non-binary, a pet, or even a neighbor. The list goes on. Many soul mate relationships are not at all romantic. Soul mates can be a connection for life, or someone who comes into another’s life to teach and heal some aspect of the self, only to move on. One may experience many soul mate relationships in a lifetime.
Soul Mate Relationships
- You feel a sense of destiny
- Past life connections
- Not necessarily romantic
- It could be a parent and child, siblings, friends, neighbors, relatives, colleagues, inter-generational
- A deep connection that may change over time
- Sometimes there is a psychic connection
- The challenges presented are to progress you in your evolution
- May set you off on a new life path or a big life lesson
- Uncovers past pain as an opportunity for healing
- It may fade once the lessons heal completely
- Awakens you to higher states of consciousness
- These unions allow individuals to evolve spiritually
Sacred Unions
A Sacred Union means many things and relates to our masculine and feminine energies. This union may be viewed as a circuit of a battery’s positive and negative charges rather than a gendered view of masculine/feminine. Transmuting and alchemizing these energies may lead to significant healing and increased awareness. This may be expressed through relationships and partnerships. Many view a sacred union as a soul mate, twin flame, or twin ray.
There are spiritual businesses solely working with these types of relationships, but very little evidence that they are more than a wish or concept.
Often there is a perception that these relationships are fated, which can be problematic because it does not make room for the diverse spectrum of relating across a lifetime and may leave one constantly seeking outside of the self for validation in love.
It is a label that some use to justify staying in unhealthy relationships and not for the highest growth of the individuals involved. Whatever you believe, it is essential to look within first and find your truth, answers, healing, and development, which will radiate into the world.
A Psychic Perspective
Endless external searching for some highly romanticized version of love may distract from the true nature of love, which is sourced internally. Perhaps finding a soulmate or twin flame relationship is not a goal to be chased. Maybe the traits we seek in these types of love relationships, which are not always in the form of romantic relationships, are what we seek within ourselves. Love does not require a partnership to be expressed in the world. It may feel unsatisfying or discomforting to consider this while surrounded by a society that pressures individuals and couples to make grand gestures of love on one commercially-motivated day.
A psychic may read and offer communication on relationships in your past and present, significant themes, and how individuals are connected; however, it is essential to ask why you are seeking this label. There is a trap in endlessly searching for “the one.” Endless searching for someone who is one’s soulmate or twin flame depletes energy and personal power. It also minimizes the possibility of nurturing love with a significant other you are already with. Ultimately, looking inward at the motivations to find an epic, once-in-a-lifetime love and how you can cultivate both in and out of a relationship is a more empowered view of love. It opens space for new connections and strengthens existing ones.
If you want to explore psychic tools, meditation, and psychic development, sign up for our Clairvoyant Meditation Free Open House to learn about course offerings or book a psychic reading or spiritual healing through The Psychic School.
